I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
