isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
