I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My liver just broke up with me...
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
