It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
