so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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