Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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