she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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