census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
