he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There's always time for handjobs
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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