He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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