All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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