I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Girls should come with a carfax report
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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