So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you would pick up someone in the library
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
