Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
