Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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