I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
