My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
