so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
and you fell through a lawn chair
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
