But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
