Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
