why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
