I think I just saw someone hide a body.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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