I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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