So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
