My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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