So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
