Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
my being single is dangerous.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
