the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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