Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
