i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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