So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
