My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
