i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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