I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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