Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
