i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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