you would pick up someone in the library
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
