Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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