I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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