True but thats because hes a fetus.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
