Don't you send me to vm
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
What a dumb baby whore.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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