i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
