We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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