Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
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