Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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