if i died would you start the facebook group?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
