Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
is it fun? or sober?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
