my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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