that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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