the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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